Wednesday, November 25, 2015

2015 Trip: Universal Studio Singapore

(photo credit :

I have one week leave from work and I have to admit, this is not planned that thorough. Originally, I wanted to go to Bangkok and Hua Hin and get my ass to the sand but then the tickets are expensive….

My colleague was suggesting USS. Since she bailed out cause of passport issue, I was contemplating on going USS alone last weekend. 

Hotel. <345MYR at 5footway.inn Chinatown> Check
USS entrance ticket <$64 Maybank Promotion MYR191>. Check. 
Return Bus Ticket. Check. <MYR 140 KL to Singapore by First Coach> Check

Since this is my first time rendezvous in amusement park alone, I am pretty excited. At least I am going somewhere! yay! 

I’ll update tomorrow when shit is really going down. 

Love, SS

In The Name Of The Meat

Do you wait? Do you not wait? Does it matter if you believe in fate and trust that if you wait for the right person will come along or do you go meet a whole lot of people and choose the best of them like buying a meat. 

A meat. I heard that words describing girls before when I was in Finland. My then boyfriend told me girls at the club and guys who preying on them are looking for “meat”, of course I am sure “meat” is reference for sex or hooking up.  

Biologically, we are a meat. Theoretically, we think are too much as a superior, we lose the track of being actual human. 

Do you wait for a connection? Do I wait? No, I just fly higher. Does it make me less a women? I am a hedonist. I believe happiness & pleasure are truly the best to live. Still, does it mean I am value less in the eyes of man? Probably. Does it matter? No, cause I want to make myself happy, my body happy thus create a happy vibes around me. 

As far I am concern after being 30, it is not my job to fix people, making men happy 24x7. From this moment, I’m making myself happy. I AM.

 Love, SS

Monday, November 16, 2015

It Is Only Words, Right?

The quote above hits me because it happened to me now.

It is only texts, right? Nothing more than bunch of words, sentences and exclamations to get the other person understand,  connected and close to us hence no matter how much I want to forget and to think it was only a text and nothing more, I feel attached.  I feel connected, a bond and I felt the feeling I lost before.

Of course, I get too overwhelmed and blew it off. Perhaps I should blew it off. Now I keep telling myself, “It wasn’t meant to be at first place”.
The other person clearly stated his intention and I know his nature of work is not stable for relationship.

He was kind though and charming too. He took what left of my heart and open it bit by bit, simply by being a bit naughty, aloof and interested with my life, my interest and just simply entertain my silliness.

He did has mercy when he did not reply to my messages that I sent occasionally in few days, just a simple Hi.Nothing more and nothing less, and he was kind. Kind not reply me back. You can say he is ghosting me but for some odd reason, I glad he did.



Friday, November 13, 2015

Friday Like No Other

Its Friday and not any other Friday. It's 13th of the month and it is Friday the 13th. 

Thanks to Jason, we are programmed  to fear Friday the 13th.. perhaps to think he would come behind you with an axe but then again, he wouldnt come to Malaysia , too hot here and he might hang out at the beach than suburb. 

Talked about Villian, Freddy Krueger take the spot in my fear list. Come on, killing ppl in their sleep?! Seriously?! I love sleeping...  ugh! Stress. 

Does fear keeps holding you or motivate you? I wonder that myself often but then again my motto is "fuck this. Just do it" so as you can see, I'll prefer to regret it later. 

Fear also keeps you safe. Safe from creepy guy that potentially stalk you and while you on a date. For instance,
while you guys are talking, your fear is trigger and think "there's something wrong with this guy, and my guts say "Run"" so you ran and after while you think back, "oh probably I am just not into him". aha! ok ok! I just kidding. sheesh chillax. 

On serious note, we need fear in life.
It does keep you safe and motivate to some extend. Just be smart of which fear worth fighting for and to let go. 

If the fear of losing a guy in your mind bugs the hell of you, probably the best thing is to let him go. Attachment is dangerous in my case, it paralysed me. 

Opps too deep now. Get out of here. 


Thursday, November 12, 2015


In normal world, we learn life through books & experiences. We been through one  experience and tell others about it and they too made the assumption that it could be true, the ultimate truth and ultimate lie (cynical type).  

Here comes internet, World Wide Web that whatever your heart desire, having doubts and millions of questions, internet can provide  instant comfort and instant confusion at the same time. 

I too fallen for this. I like a guy, we text and stop. What happened? 

There are probability thousands of articles “What if he doesn’t text back?” “Decoding Text from Men"  bla bla bla.. you get the hint. 

And my conclusion, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. STOP OBSESSING! Just put the god damn phone and do your life. ( A constant reminder for me too)  

All of the articles send the same message, MOVE ON. 

Some of them gave some tips and tricks but all sound manipulative to me. 


It’s confusing enough being alive, heard and see weird things (thanks, 9gag), So just enjoy the ride of singlehood. Yes, this is my choice. 



Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Is It Worth It?

How many times in your life would you ask yourself "is it worth it?" 
Is it worth it to get his attention? 
Is it worth it to get that cheesy
crust pizza? 
Is it worth it to get another gold teeth? 

There are a million questions and for most part of my life or you can even put as my motto "fuck it, just fuck this shit and do it" 

Of course it doesn't mean I dont think it thoroughly but I am guessing that It is not harmful to get another slice of pizza or texting him first to say Hi. 

This however does not apply to subtances. ok? I am lucky I surrounded by ppl who are not
too much fucked up in their head about substances. 

In dating, I've always been the one who initiate first and if I feel the guy is  running cold, I would run the other way. It does somehow looks like I am giving up but the truth is, I initiate first because I want to let the guy know I am interested and let him lead the dance if he wants.  

Only recently I feel I play hard to get, not because I want to but my
work schedule is a bit inconvenient. lol.  Does it work? Does the guy feel
I am worth the wait? Who knows and I should care less. 

The most important thing is, I would have fun whomever I am with. So, Just fuck it and do it if it makes you happy. For me it is worse to feel What If's.  But of course, this comes with experience. 

So keep telling yourself, Does it Worth it? 

Love, SS

Monday, November 9, 2015

Oh No! I didn't!

Ok, I was having an episode last weekend. Nervous Breakdown. It wasn't funny. At. All. My chest was running like speedy Gonzales and my brain feels like an alien controlling it. 

I was total BITCH from the worse neighborhood from KL back to the States. That is like 10,000 miles bitch fest to you.

No one really knows about it. It is not something you can tell ppl unless you want them to think you are a nutcase. 

It doesn't matter since I brush that shit off real quick .(or am I?) . Sorry, dudes.

I keep ruin things, is it? *Face palm* 

Now I will drown myself with cereal and milk but it is oat and honey cereal. Adult Cereal cause I am cool adult. 

For the record, I re-install the dating apps but now I know exactly what I wanted and fiercely I will get what I want. {insert evil kid laugh}


Friday, November 6, 2015

I Think I Give Love A Bad Name

I am not sure if I am the only person in this world who has a problem but every time I begin to like someone, my world will crumble down. 

I can't think straight, I can't focus on my work, I keep looking at my damn phone and the worse thing, I am depress. 

Perhaps being single for too long taught me that or simply I fancy that guy a bit and he ultimately bored with his time, pay a bit and tiny attention to me, I fall for him hard. All this and I haven't meet him. O M G. Fucking ridiculous! 

Now I am typing this, my forehead seems to write itself "silly foolish girl" with bright neon lights, brighter than Christmas lights and Aidilfitri combined. 

But then again, as my mentally undeveloped and most probably emotional too, a meme should do better explain how I am coping usually: 

Actually I read somewhere that I probably suffer from Lovesick or Limerence. Shit has gone serious, darling.

noun: limerence; plural noun: limerences
  1. the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship. 

Next question would be, How to Deal With It.


What I Realized When I Used Dating Apps....

Only recently I actively join few dating apps and though  I am relatively new and somewhat leads me to my "adult adventure" (not that I complaint), I realized something in dating apps so far.....

1. I realized I am shallow. I do not chat or swipe right if I am do not see that guy attractive/ handsome in my eyes.

2. I realized I am a racist on some people. err, sorry?

3. I realized ghosting has become my middle name.

4. I realized that being best version of you and impress people are damn tiring.

5. I realized that this dating apps do makes you more depress.

6. I realized that as a women, I have tons of power to make these poor man feel useless and rejected.

7. I realized that as a women also makes other women feel to feel ok to flash your fucking boobs to me, your point is?

8. I realized fake profiles are too many and hence, other guys feel I am not real too. err, I don't know if this a compliment or you guys has been burned way too many.

9. I realized that I can be fucking bitch to certain people and having a conversation brawl is actually fun.

10. I realized that at the end I do want guys to know me who I really am than another face on dating profile.

Whining much? Obviously. Not everyone found love and not everyone needs love. 

We just merely wants connections. It is easy to talk to stranger than person next to you. It is easy to connect to person who basically no idea your psycho phase and all that, we all want people to listen. 

As we speak, I deleting my dating apps for now. I am heartbroken. It is true and silly.